employee memo #23232356-Z-7-B
Hey all, I know its been a while since I checked in but I have been on a sabatical working with S. American guerillas. at least that's what I was told until I arrived in the jungles of Honduras with my AK-47 and my copy of Ho Chi Minh's Little Red Book. Well the short end is that I arrive at the airstrip cut into the banana fields of Honduras I was gassed and drugged and the next thing I know is that I am on an island surrounded by people dressed the same way as me, chintzy tuxedos with number pins, mine was number 4.....eat my dust numbers 5-100. I soon found that I was on an island captured for knowledge of shiny red buttons and breakfast cereals. I soon escaped thanks to the help of a cute lesbian witch and my new laptop. Well hope to see you all at the next outing. Take care and remember I am number 4.
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MEMO#3141592657
FROM THE DESK OF E4:
As I sit here in my cubicle comtemplating the new shiny red candy-like
button E3 installed in case there ever was an accident, the last time I
pushed it a mini-car filled with a dozen circus clowns appeared to douse me
and my computer with seltzer... have to read the operation manual on this one.
Well, anyway as I sit here, I contemplate not only the button but Carl Sagan's
idea about PI (does it eventually repeat in a series of 0's and 1's). Is this
a message from God, a suicide note or is it a manual teaching us to love one
another (speaking of love I'm going to have to return to Guatamala and
revisit Maria, oh sweet Maria). As I was saying could these repeating numbers
if plugged into a synthesizer create music and what kind of music would it
produce. Now the debate arises what instrument to plug into this synthesizer.
Well gotta trun this one past management and get a proposal ready.
Thanks E4
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Dear all fellow employees...I
just wanted to let you all know that I am
excited to have been accepted to this wonderful new company. Just wanted to
let you all know a little about myself as resumes are confidential. As you
might have heard the last ten years have been difficult after leaving the
rebels in Nicaragua. Over the last decade I have traveled for many years in
the Middle East and the Orient. I have spent several years studying under the
Dalai Lama and have studied the many different ways of meditation. Also from
my time there I have studied relentlessly the music from this mysterious
region which I hope to bring to this company.
My schooling has been
declassified by the NSA and all the other alphabet soups on the Washington Beltway.
As you all know I fought with the rebels for the rebels in
Nicaragua. Well, I attended Stanford majoring in Advanced Number Theories and
minoring in Slug Farming. Graduating at the top of my class I was hired by
the CIA to travel to Central America to try my theories of codebreaking. My
thesis was entitled, "Codebreaking, Captain Crunch and Other Trivialities".
The theme of my paper was that all codes could be broken using simple
everyday objects around the house. After cracking the DNA code using a box of
Count Chocala and a Big Red wrapper I anxiously got aboard a noisy C-130 and
traveled to Panama for my long trip to Nicaragua. There I taught the rebels
how to use the MRE's the Army sent to break the enemies codes. When the war
was over you know the rest. More to follow on the hopes it gets declassified
soon. I look forward to our first project meeting and am excited by the
website. Thanks to all and remember to keep behind your ears clean. I look forward to
working with
all of you and I know this will be a great experience for all.....See ya all
later and remember the ancient wisdom...A donut with no hole is a
Danish...
Forever yours,
Employee #4